Self-care is, fundamentally, about bringing balance back to a life that has grown imbalanced from too many commitments or responsibilities.
Robyn L. Gobin, The Self-Care Prescription
meditation
My birthday is coming up in two weeks, so it is a good time for introspection. It is also, like any time of transition, a good chance to look at ‘where am I?’, ‘how did I get here?’, and ‘where do I want to go from here?’. An honest approach to these questions is a good basis for beginning shadow work.
I’m an introvert, so naturally, hanging out in your own head is not all there is to shadow work. Shadow work is about facing those pieces and sides of yourself that you may not want to look at, or even admit exist. It’s about bringing those things into the light, and acknowledging that they exist. It’s about facing your issues, your problems, your biases, and actually doing something about them. Yeah, that doesn’t really sound like fun. It’s not. However, it’s one of those things that you’ll be thankful for later – kind of like lancing and draining a really painful boil.
It is however, something that, hopefully, you will have someone to talk and work through with you. An experienced elder that you trust and/or a licensed therapist are great (and some would say necessary) companions on this journey, especially if you have trauma in your past, as many of us do. As someone who has faced repressed trauma and the psychological aftermath more than once, I entreat you to please have a support system in place before you begin shadow work. If you are a solitary practitioner with no spiritual or mundane support, shadow work is not a necessary component to your practice.
This is always a difficult one to explain, especially over the internet, but being able to use and manipulate energy is an absolute cornerstone of powering a spell. Energy has to come from somewhere. When you light a campfire, a spark is added to wood, the wood is consumed and in return you get light, heat, energy and ashes (the remains). Spell work is a lot like that. You need to be able to apply that spark, and also to direct the resultant energy toward your goal. To do that, you need to be able to manipulate energy. That is the basis of Witchcraft and working magic.
The fire analogy is also a good one, because it can also give a sort of feedback that you are beginning to succeed. A candle flame has its own energy, but if you feed energy into it, or draw back from it, then you can often see the flame respond to you. The flame may rise super high, or it may dance or lean as you play with it. Most people practice gathering the energy in their hands and pushing it outwards, but others prefer a more ‘mental’ push.
The question is ‘How do you learn to generate, feel and direct that energy?’
Affirmations are often encouraged as a part of self-care/self-love, as they increase positive feelings, can improve one’s outlook and can encourage one to make positive changes in their life. An affirmation is a statement of emotional support or encouragement, and the act of stating or declaring it to be a truth. An affirmation can be any simple positive statement that enourages positive feelings: “I am beautiful.” “I am kind.” “I will let go of the pain of my past and let myself heal.” The focus of the affirmative statement is whatever change you are trying to encourage in your life.
Affirmations often work well, accompanied by meditation, if that is part of your spiritual wellness work. This allows you to examine the statement with a quiet mind, and observe what it means to you. It also allows you to observe, address and dismiss those negative thoughts that may be detractors. Perhaps you are trying to work on your self-confidence and self image. Your affirmation may be, “I am beautiful.” In meditation, you may decide to think on seeing yourself as beautiful, as glowing, as happy. Know that when you have negative thoughts… “I’m fat” “I have crow’s feet” “My hair is frizzy” … whatever your particular worry is, know that you can let it go, that it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is your affirmation.
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