This is a tldr; post explaining how I came to be where I am in my practice and how my beliefs may or may not align with traditional Wiccan based practices and beliefs.

I am a solitary practitioner. I did spend some time with a coven and several working groups throughout the years, but my practice has largely been solitary for the last two and a half decades. This has left me very open to exploring whatever struck my fancy, and to figure out what worked for me and what didn’t.

Exploring Dianic Witchcraft

One of the things that I explored, especially in the early 2000s, was Dianic Wicca/Witchcraft and a Goddess focused spirituality. There were parts of Dianic Wicca that really resonated with me and worked for me. However, there were also things that were, to me, as biased as traditional Wicca’s assignment of ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ to energies and its’ insistence on balance.

I am a woman – biologically, psychologically, and energetically. I, also, like many other witches, want my practice and my spirituality to exist on my terms. So, I had to figure out what those terms were and what I do or do not believe.

I work primarily (if not exclusively) with goddesses. Until recently, I didn’t think that I would work with a god, or care to, until one came knocking at my (psychic) door with purpose. I acknowledged they were there and recognize my husband’s (and other’s) personal deities. It just didn’t seem necessary to me, in the same way that I evaluate any knowledge or practices that I come across my path in terms of whether it worked or not for me. Hence, the ‘eclectic’ label. So, when Apollo finally got my attention, and gave me purpose in working with him, instead of just in the periphery of my practice (like most of the other Hellenic Gods/Goddesses). So, I once again have a ‘balanced’ altar for the first time in over 20 years.

Traditional Wicca

I know that more traditional Wiccans see the uniting of polarities, of male and female to be necessary to the energy of ‘creation.’ I, however, don’t see the need to always call on the God and the Goddess together, especially if I am not performing a full ritual circle, or I just don’t feel the need for it at this time. Even now that I have a God and a Goddess that I am working with, I don’t always call on them both together. I tailor my energy and that of the deity I am working with (if there is one) to that act of magic that I am performing. Some people practice magic with no deities at all.

I really do like concentrating on the feminine energy. Preferably, I enjoy working with the Goddess. I understand the need for safe, female only spaces. I fully support those things. However, I could not relate to making the God/male energy/men as lesser, subservient, or non-existent because women had been treated so by the patriarchy, as is the case in traditional Dianic circles. So, I have a feminine focused practice, because I am feminine, not because I think that (male) Gods are not equally valid or powerful.

Finding My Own Path

I like that Wicca values both masculinity and femininity, and that neither is inherently valued above the other. As a woman, especially as a younger woman, I felt a need to exist in that female-centered, warrior energy. (As in Ani DiFranco’s, ‘Not a Pretty Girl’ and various others in my ‘chick rock’ playlist.) This is what resonated with me and led me to explore Dianic Wicca. I didn’t feel the need to (and don’t) call on the God, just because ‘I’m supposed to’, anymore that I want to be told I can only worship a male deity.

Balance is what works to balance me, not what is arbitrarily decided by others about what my religion or beliefs should be. We are a religion of being our own Priestesses and Priests, and needing no intermediary to speak on our behalf to our deities. “I ain’t no damsel in distress and I don’t need to be rescued.” I can take the parts that do work for me, and work them. That is the balance in my practice.

That being said, I did learn some very good things working a Goddess-based practice. I can definitely recommend some books, if you are interested.

Where I am Today

Most days, I absolutely believe in the Gods as distinct entities. Sometimes, I see them as faces of the collective whole. Some days, I am an animist and believe that deity/spirit is ever present, and it doesn’t matter what name I call it by. I’m a scientist by profession. I’ll probably never have a concrete answer to what “God” or “Goddess” is, but I don’t need one. Even if they are figments of my subconscious that I use to direct my energy and ‘answer my prayers,’ it works for me. Having Hecate and Apollo, or The Goddess, or The Gods present in my life brings me peace and faith in myself. I think this is the true reason for spirituality…

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